Royalisms

Royalisms

We can't help but observe that moms have their own niche vocabulary, or language. And when you mash it up with all things royal, a delicious Momarchy slanguage is born. Here are some of our favorite terms.


Mum:

Plucky British-inspired word for mom. Favored by cute, fit, modern celeb moms like Gwynyth Paltrow.

Usage: Mum, could I have a biscuit with my juice, please?

Bless her heart:

All-purpose phrase used to soften the blow in an oh-so passive-aggressive manner whilst doling out an insult.

Usage: She thought the ACT was a local theater group, not a college entrance exam. Bless her heart.

Kerfuffle:

Charming word for fight or altercation that positions it as not so tawdry.

Usage: The kids got into a bit of a kerfuffle over whether to watch Good Luck Charlie or Wizards of Waverly Place. Even though Junior's cornea was torn, everything is fine now.

Dodgy:

Not good, unreliable, tricky or downscale.

Usage: I can't believe they held Junior's birthday party at that dodgy Bonanza. It was filthy and the toddlers really didn't take to the steak and potato meal.

Keen:

Toned down way of expressing enthusiasm or excitement.

Usage: I'm not too keen on spinach but I'll have a go of it.

Living in the town of Buggin:

The place Junior and Junior Miss dwell right before pushing mom right over the edge.

Usage: Sally is so Living in the town of Buggin' what with that sass-mouth of hers today.

Ledger:

Delightful and old-fashioned, Downton Abbey-style word to describe the checkbook register, or even the overall household budget (which many tech-savvy moms probably have captured on Quickbooks).

Usage: Hmm, I'm not sure if we can go on Spring Break this year, but let me have a peek at the ledger and we'll see . . .

Spot-on, or Brilliant:

Brit-inspired way to describe your child or girlfriend's achievement at even the smallest thing. In an awkward or brief moment, can also be useful catch-all word to throw out to provide a measure of enthusiasm.

Usage: Nine out of 10 on your spelling quiz? Brilliant, Sally! -or- When Jane said the PTA prez didn't know her head from her arse I thought to myself, spot on. -or- The waiter brings a second basket of bread and you exclaim, "Brilliant!!"

Holiday:

Romantic and aspirational spin on the word vacation. Caution: can sometimes confuse entrenched Americans.

Usage: My holiday was just lovely last week . . .  just lovely! To which the response might be, er that's wonderful, but wait, there was a holiday last week?

Gobsmacked:

Amazed, flabbergasted.

Usage: I was completely gobsmacked that, after that ginormous fight, the kids played together without killing each other.

Bother:

A painful, inconvenient or just dreary situation.

Usage: Oh, the bother of trying on bikinis with February-white skin!

Straight away:

ASAP.

Usage: Children, when your lovely mother asks you to fetch a mojito, you must do so straight away.

Sort out:

Figure out.

Usage: The kids didn't understand the homework at first but I got them all sorted out.

Bits:

Parts, sections or pieces.

Usage: I explained the plot of Fifty Shades of Grey to the other moms without all the naughty bits. There really wasn't much to tell.

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